Friday, January 16, 2015

Saying Good-Bye

How are you supposed to say good-bye to someone that has just always been there?  
How are you supposed to just act like everything is going to be ok?
How are you supposed to try and hold it together while you are holding back tears? 
How are you supposed to watch your kids say their final good-byes to someone that has been so proud of them?
How are you supposed to walk out of a room knowing that is the last time you will ever see your grandpa alive? 
How are you supposed to watch your grandpa shake your husbands hand knowing exactly what he would be saying to Dan?
How are you supposed to watch your grandpa kiss each and every one of your children knowing full well that is the last kiss they will ever get from him?
 Yesterday was a hard day.  My mom had called really early in the morning but I had missed her call. As soon as I saw the call I knew something was up.  I returned her call and she told me that Gramps wasn't doing well and was going to be treated as a hospice patient.  I dropped the kids off at school and headed out to spend the day with Griffin and Gramps.  I sat there and listened to the hospice nurser talk him being in his final stage of his journey.  She pointed out all the facts that gramps was going to die.  He couldn't get comfortable.  You could tell he just wanted to go.  He was mostly sleeping while I was there.  On my way back to get the kids from school I called Dan and told him I wanted to take all the kids out there.  I drove back to Watertown to get Lanie from school then met up with Dan and we headed out to West Bend to say Good-bye.  I was surprised when we got there to find my Grandpa awake and giving out kisses.  He knew we were there.  He gave each of the kids a kiss.  He gave Dan a couple of firm handshakes like he always did.  I could hear him telling Dan what a good guy he is.  Gramps always told Dan what a good person he was.  Dan actually reminds a lot of my Grandpa.  Hard working and always taking care of his family.  We stayed for about an hour.  We all prayed with him.  We sang to him...he even tried to sing along.  He kept looking from my Grandma who sat right by his side.  When he kissed Gavin he made a smooching noise just like he always would have.  I am SO SO SO glad we took the kids.  While it was super hard to see him lying there struggling to get comfortable, the kids got to say good-bye and Gramps got to say good-bye to them.  I will forever cherish that hour as one of the best hours of my life.  I knew when I walked out that would be the last time I would see him.  I was torn between staying and remaining stable for the kids.  Gramps would have wanted me to stay with the kids.  So I did.  We headed back home.  My mom called a little after 2:30 this morning.  Gramps was gone.  He's gone.  He is dancing with all the pretty ladies in Heaven waiting for my Grandma to arrive when God calls her home.  We haven't told the kids yet.  We will after school.  It will be hard, but I am going to focus on how he is no longer in pain.  He wanted to go home and now he is in his forever home.  The next few days will be filled with mixed emotions and trying to focus on that.  My grandparents would have been married for 72 years this April.  71 years they were together.  Through the good and the bad.  Through the ups and the downs.  They had 32 great grandchildren, 10 grandchildren and 2 children.  What a legacy he left.  A true man of his word.  Always willing and wanting to help.  He adored his great grandchildren.  He would walk them around their retirement community showing them off.  They were his pride and joy.    I am beyond blessed that my children had Grandpa Fligge in their lives for so long.  He will be missed dearly.  Life won't be the same without him.  I am gonna miss my gramps like crazy.  Until we meet again, gramps...I love you.

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