Friday, January 20, 2017

Day Four. Day FOUR! DAY FOUR!!!!

So, I am a little messed up in the head most days.  I don't have the best internal read on what I really look like.  In my head I want to look like this woman...all trendy and skinny with a slouchy hat on.  Some days I actually kinda feel like I might have "it" a little together.  Then it see a picture of yourself that someone took.  Basically, I don't look anything like this woman AT ALL!!!! Then my mind plays tricks on me and I go to the other extreme.  It's a daily battle myself has with myself.  Please tell me I am not the only one that feels like this!!! Someone...please!!!!

Last year in January a team of us got together and joined weight watchers.  We called ourselves none other than "team sparkle" because who doesn't love a little sparkle in any name, right?  I think we all rocked at the WW.  We were dropping pounds weekly.  I would say for me, I stayed on track until Dan and I went on our 15th anniversary cruise in June.  Then is when I probably got off track a bit.  I mean...have you ever been on a cruise????  The food is AMAZING.  Like, endless amounts of food that I didn't have to prepare.  Then, they walk by and clean it all up for you too!!!  Free fresh baked cookies and freshly prepared crepes....basically the cruise ship is a walking restaurant.  When you get bored, you eat.  So eat we did.

Anyways, I kept on with the exercising but stopped tracking and got a little loose with what I was choosing to eat.  Then I started working full time in September and basically all sense of having any "me" time has gone.  I have joined and rejoined weight watchers probably 3 times last year and I could never get back on track like I was for the first half of the year.  (Hey, I am just being honest here!)  I mean, seriously, I would make it a day or two and do really awesome and then I would get off track and blow the whole day.  The good thing about weight watchers is that you can truly eat whatever you want.  You don't have to eliminate anything.

So, obviously I would start fresh on January 1st, right?  New year, New me.  Well, that lasted about 1 hour until I fell my way down the wooden staircase and gave myself the bruise of the decade. ( I still am battling a hematoma, but every day it is getting a little better! )  There went my "new me" in an instant in my head.

I know looks don't  matter...but in all honestly, they kinda do, right?  That is why each of us take showers and brush our hair and buy clothes....because we want to look nice.  I do believe that the beauty in someone's heart outshines what they look like any day....but at the end of the day, we all want to look presentable.  So this is a battle I fight in my head more often than I'd like to admit.

I don't hate me, but I don't love me.  I don't want to be a size 2, but I don't want to be a size 12.  I don't want to try and be trendy, but I don't want to not try.  I don't want to eat cookies, but I don't want to eat salads.  I don't want to exercise, but I don't want to have ugly legs.

So this past Monday, after praying about this for weeks years, I decided to stop focusing on it and doing something.  I had to admit to myself that I, Susan Wilke, and addicted to sugar.  Yup.  Yum.  I love me some sugar!!!  So, I stopped cold turkey.  I know that is why WW wasn't working for me anymore.  I was allowed to eat it, so I did.  I had to not allow myself to eat it so I wouldn't.

Now, don't get all "good job, Susan!" on me....I am only on day four.  I haven't had carbs or sugar for 4 days.  While that seems like such a small victory for some, it's a HUGE battle for me!  I really don't have a game plan.  I really don't know what plan I am following or not.  I just wanted to not be addicted to sugar so I am trying this.  I am crabby and happy at the same time.  I am hungry and full at the same time.  I want a piece of cheesecake but yet I don't want anything to do with one at the same time.  My mind is going in two different directions.  Have some carbs, Stay away from the carbs!!

So, why not blog about my internal craziness right for all to read, right?  I know there are pros and cons to everything.  I know why some sugar is good for you and that is why there are a billion weight loss plans.  I want to see how strong I can be.

January 16, 2017....I gave up sugar.  I don't know if I will make it a week.  I don't know if I will make it a month.  I am not making any promises.  I am going to take it one day at a time.  One hour at a time.  One cookie temptation at a time!  On April 16, we are heading to Alabama with the kids.  If I drop some cottage cheese from my thighs by then, I'll be pumped!   More so, I just want to be a little healthier.

Day Four, Susan Day Four.

Thanks for entering the internal battle of my head for the day!

Friday, January 6, 2017

You should see my bruise!

Well, if you read my previous blog, you know I took quite a tumble 5 days ago.  The past 5 days have been interesting.  I have never experienced anything of the sorts like this and I am all out of whack!  I have to lean to one side to sit and can put no pressure on my bottom where I took the brunt of the fall.  I have been faithfully showing my family multiple times a day my bruise.  It helps me get a little sympathy from them.  I still can't bend over and I have a really hard time sitting.  I like to think I am good spirits even though I took the tumble of the year on the first day of the year.  My kids are sick of seeing my hinder, but I think they secretly like to watch the dynamics of my bruising ;)  ( I am pretty sure that is not true!)  I did muster up the courage to go to the chiropractor last night.  Poor guy had to see the bruising too.  I went back again this morning and and hoping I will get some relief soon.  Driving seems to be the worst for me as I have to lean to one side.  However, the world goes on and so must I, bruised tooshy and all.  Dan and I decided that if I am not better by Monday I will drag myself to the doctor.  

Anyways, enough about that...the nutcracker season has come to and end.  Watching Abbie up on stage never got old.  The driving downtown may have, but that all went away the moment she marched on stage.  

On the day after Christmas she had 2 performances down at the Marcus Center with a bit of a gap in between the shows.  4-5 months ago when sports authority was going out of business, Dan and I found the kids ice skates on super duper clearance.  Like I am talking $10 a pair of skates.  It was totally the jackpot!  They must have just gotten marked down and no one is looking for ice skates in the summer so we snatched them up.  We were able to get a pair for each kid in their right size!  SCORE! 

 We gave the kids their ice skates for Christmas and just needed to wait for the lakes around here to freeze.  Then we remembered that we could go ice skating right across the street from the Marcus Center at the outdoor ice rink!
 After Abbie danced her first show, Dan drove the other kids down and hit the ice!
 If you bring your own skates, you skate for FREE.  I like free.  I really like free.
 Sadie used to take ice skating lessons a few years ago so her and Molly went off and brushed up on their skills.
 You could rent these cute little penguins for beginner skaters for $1.  Griffin and Lanie both used them a little, but they didn't need them!

 It was actually pretty warm out that day, but the wind did pick up as we were skating.  I decided to treat for Star Bucks and get the kids all a small hot chocolate.  Now, if you know me, you know I don't drink coffee.  The simple thought of walking into a coffee place panics me.  I never know how or what to order.  Grande, latte, frappe....Ahhhhh!  So many things to mess up on.  Dan and I are not coffee drinkers so we never frequent these fancy coffee places.  I mustered up the courage to head in and place an order.  Scary.
 I was panicking because I know these coffee drinky things can be expensive.  However, the barista (Is that what you call them?) asked me if I wanted kid size drinks and they were only $1.50!  Yahoo!  Free ice skating and cheap hot cocoa....that is a good day.
 Griffs took the top off of his drink and had a round hot cocoa ring on his face.....ahhhh, melt my heart.
 Abbie was very cautious on the ice....we couldn't fall or mess up our nutcracker hair before the last performance.

 What a fun afternoon and a great day to be together.  It is freezing here today so I am sure the lakes here will freeze soon and we can get some more use out of our skates.  I can guarantee you that I will NOT be stepping on any sort of ice any time soon.  No more falling, Susan.  No more falling.

 Jingle Jam came to and end.  I think I had Jingle Jam withdrawal the week after.  What a great time and a good learning and growing experience for me.  I won't lie....we are already talking Easter Jam!  Say what?!?!?
Oh OH OH!!!!  And one more thing!!!!  Clear your calendars for January 30th at 9:20!  I am heading back to REAL MILWAUKEE for a segment!  Stay tuned for more details.  Super. Cute. STUFF!!!!!

Sunday, January 1, 2017

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up...FOR REAL

Today was going to be great...It's a new year....a day of fresh starts and new chances.  I had such great plans for today.  I would head into work, go work out, go shopping with one of my besties who is in town.  It was gonna be amazing.

Insert my awesomeness.

I had my alarm set for 6:30.  I rolled out of bed at 7:30.  Whoops.  I wanted to be to work by 8:00 so I headed into the bathroom and started getting ready.  My hair was a little wild so I flat ironed it and put a hat on.  I decided to give my eyes a rest today and keep my glasses on.  I remembered that I got a new pair of white chucks for Christmas and was super excited to wear them today.  I knew they were going to need some "breaking in" so I picked out a pair of thin socks that I haven't worn in years.  I went into my closet to get the rest of myself dressed and realized all my pants were somehow  downstairs.  Ok... no biggie, I put my token turtle neck on with my work t-shirt over.  Put my thin socks on that were gonna make my new shoes break in well and headed downstairs in my undies to find some pants.  New shoes in one hand and my cell phone in the other hand.  I had asked Dan to start the van for me so he was outside doing that.

Then the fall of 2017 happened.

I was about half way down the stairs.  Feeling on top of the world.  Today was gonna be a great start to 2017.

In a split second my day "fell" apart.

My super thin socks didn't do so well on our wooden stairs and up in the air I went.  I am positive nothing about my fall was graceful.  I did successfully fall down all the way to the bottom of the stairs. My shoes flew out of my hands, my hat flew off my head and my phone went soaring in slow motion somewhere and actually ended up a few stairs behind my epic fall.

I cried out for Dan.  Shoot....why did I ask him to start the car??

There I sat, fully dressed (except my pants) sitting at the bottom of the stairs in sharp piercing pain.

Good thing the kids were sleeping at my Mom's house for the night or they would have been in for a real "treat."  I can just hear it now... Teacher: "What was the best part of your Christmas vacation said Wilke child?"  Wilke Child: "Well, I got woken up by an elephant falling down our stairs on New Year's Eve morning."

I mustered up all the energy I could and forced myself to stand up.  I instantly started crying.  Poor Dan came in from starting the car to me standing there with no pants on and a crying mess.

I managed to pull myself together, wipe away my tears, and he helped me get my pants and shoes on.

I made it to work only a few minutes behind schedule.  My pants were getting tighter and tighter which meant my butt was getting more and more swollen.

My sweet co-workers forced me to take some ibuprofen and cracked a small ice pack for me.  The more the morning went on, the worse it got.  I ended up leaving early and coming home to the couch...which is where I have been ever since coming home.

I just showed Molly my butt.  Like, I pulled my pants down and showed her.  This is what she said, " Whoa Mom...your butt is black like the coffee table top. Mom, pull your pants back up. " Then she proceeded to put Griffin on the coffee table and show me how swollen my butt looks by using Griffin's butt as an example.

So, here I sit from my couch....leaning on my good butt cheek side...trying to remain positive.  I am going to break my new year's resolution of trying to get some sort of exercise in a few times a week on the first day.

I am praying that this is the worst thing that will happen to me this year.  Only 364 more days until 2018!!! From my very sore body to yours....Happy Super Awesome New Year.  Hopefully your 2017 started out a little better than mine!

Monday, December 26, 2016

Merry Christmas from our crazy family to yours!!

 Well, we woke up this morning....Dan and I actually slept in until 9:30 and the Christmas decorations came down.  It's not that we don't like Christmas, but I guess it is kinda our family tradition to take everything down the next day.   We had successfully not watered our tree and killed it weeks ago so it was dropping needles like crazy anyways.  We jus can't seem to keep any sort of plant, succulent or tree alive.  Anyways, I am currently sitting downtown at the Marcus Center in the middle of the atrium blogging while Abbie is backstage waiting for her performance to start.  2 more shows and the Nutcracker season comes to an end.
 I will say that this Christmas looked a lot different this year for our family.  That came with a lot of mommy guilt for me.  This was the first year that I was working full time and that made Christmas look a lot different.  We didn't even get to decorate a ginger bread house.  I made sugar cookies (which are currently sitting unfrosted in a box on top of our washing machine) just waiting to be decorated.  I could sit here and tell you all of the things we didn't do this Christmas....but that would bring everyone down, so I have to focus on what we DID get to do!!
 We were able to take each child shopping and out to dinner one on one.  Our kids do a sibling exchange and then we take them one at a time to shop for the sibling they picked!  They have so much fun with it.  Best part of it this year.....3 of the kids used their OWN money to buy their sibling gift!!  YAHOO!!!!!  They get to exchange with each other on Christmas Eve and watching the JOY and excitement on their faces is just precious.  
 Along with my new job comes some pretty big responsibilities.  One of them being Jingle Jam.  This is a huge outreach event we do and a big Christmas family service.  That has been all consuming for me this year.  Practices and planning was my life for a while.  I tried really hard to leave it all at work and come home and be a mom and wife...I don't think I balanced that quite well....but I am learning.  Anyways, one of our family traditions has been to go to the Country Springs every year to look at the lights with the kids.  It was Christmas Eve and we hadn't gone yet.  I made it my mission on Saturday to get the kids to the lights!  We finished Jingle Jam, cleaned up, set up, napped, went back to work Christmas Eve service and then we did it....we made the drive and got to look at the lights!!!!  What a blessing that was to be able to keep that tradition alive!!
 The kids seem happy with their gifts.  Molly got a microphone, Sadie got some organizing things, Abbie got a ballet barre, Kenadie got some zsum zsums, Gavin and Griffin got pedal cars and Lanie got a gymnastics mat.  We try to keep it simple and functional yet fun!!  My most favorite tradition ever is that we sit down as a family on Christmas morning and read the birth of Jesus account from the Bible.  Each kid brings down their Bible and they take turns reading.  This year Lanie was able to read some of it!!!  I bet next year Griffs will be reading too!  It's fun to get gifts, but it's even more rewarding to teach our kids what Christmas is really about.
 Dan picked out one gift for Gavin and Griffin...otherwise I did the rest.  The one gift Dan got the boys was a set of Nerf guns.  After Gavin got a huge welt on his side from being shot....I asked Dan what the age suggestion was on the box.  Um....14!!!!  Ha!  So, our 8 and 5 year old boys have nerf guns that leave welts....cause we are that awesome!!
 Overall, Christmas may have looked different this year for us, but that doesn't mean it was a bad thing.  Time was spent together.  Memories were made.  Jingle Jam is over and I have this week off to spend time with the kids.  What an incredible blessing this time of year has been to me.  I have learned so much, met so many new people and grown to learn more and more what really matters in my life.
 So, from our very crazy wild family to yours....A very Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

8 weeks. is official.  I have been a full time working mom for 8 weeks.  Here are some 100% true facts from what I have learned/accomplished these past 8 weeks. 
1. I don't remember 3/4 of what has happened the past 8 weeks.
2. My kids have eaten maybe 4 home cooked meals in the past 8 weeks.  
3. We have eaten way too many sandwiches and bowls of cereal for dinner in the past 8 weeks.
4. I basically just sleep at home now...and empty and load the dishwasher....all the cereal bowls from our "healthy" dinners.
5.  I have resorted to doing my grocery shopping online.
6.  We don't make our beds.
7.  Working is so hard yet so rewarding.
8.  My kids can't really deep clean a bathroom...they more or less wipe "around" with a clorox wipe.
9. I love love love watching my kids play in any sport or activity. 
10.  I wouldn't change a thing!!

Yes, working full time has been quite the adjustment here at the Wilke household.  However, I think we have figured out a rhythm.  I am blessed to have a flexible job that still allows me to work while the kids are in school and still be there for them after school and for their activities!  

Here are some highlights of the past 8 weeks...from what I can remember!

 We had a Friday off of school and headed to holy hill with some friends!  It was gorgeous and beautiful and amazing.  We packed a picnic and did some hiking!

 Kens is flourishing in log rolling.  For a kid that just started log rolling in the late summer, she is a log rolling beast!  I am one proud log rolling mamma!  Watch out lumberjacks....she's coming to roll against you!

 Griffs finished his soccer season.  He is crazy out on that field.  He is loving school...most days.  He has turned into a little longer my little baby.  (although he still likes a good nap...against his will of course!)

 Our oldest turned, um barf, 14.  We had her class over for a party.  Crazy kids got lost in the cornfield.  We warned them...they didn't listen.

Woodmans delivers.  Enough said.  They do all my shopping, load it up, drive it out to my house, unload it and leave.  They charge me $9.95 to do this.  I had groceries delivered to my house yesterday morning at 7 a.m.  Um...where have you been all my life??? 

 This is my office....a crazy unorganized, organized mess.  Things are getting day at a time!
 I will do anything to embarrass my kids.  Especially the older ones. Including showing up to their Race for Education looking like a man.  And, you're welcome, children!  You can't pick your parents!!

 Molly gave these two a hair cut the other day and then cut Dan's hair as well.  Boom!

 I don't think I ever officially announced it....but our ballerina is in the nutcracker with the Milwaukee Ballet this year as a soldier.  She will be performing in 10 shows!  Come see her.  You really won't be able to tell which one she is....but come anyways!  She loves dancing.  She is dancing 5 days a week and loving being on pointe.  Makes my mamma heart so happy and proud!

 Sadie is a beast on the soccer field.  I watched her game last week and almost started to cry.  She scored a goal...when I wasn't recording, of course....and took a player down.  What more could you ask for as a soccer mom?

 We went trick or treating with some friends last weekend.  Apparently when  you are in 8th grade you no longer want to trick or treat with your siblings, did you know that?
 Snugs is super duper flexible.  Like almost a contortionist.  She is taking a tumbling class as a gift from my mom for her birthday.  She has learned how to do a back walk over!  Crazy kid!


We had 3 play this season.  What fun it was!  Abbie's team won the conference any good parent we didn't get a picture of her playing.  She also isn't in the team picture because she had mandatory nutcracker here is her team without her!  

 Molly has become a boss at serving.  She really has got some VB skills.  I like to line judge any opportunity I can.  Here she is serving and here I am watching to make sure she doesn't cross the line....hey, someone has to do it!

 Sadie and her played on the same team.  I can't believe Molls will be moving on to high school next season.  And.....tears.
They ended up taking 2nd place in the tournament.  So so so fun to watch...and line judge! 

And just like that....8 weeks have flown by.  

My heart is full.